Deluge - A Soap Opera
Episode 2
by Richard Neal
In: Berlin, Joined: 1 May 2005 +25
Update:
When I first posted, I should, I realise now, have called the police that night. I posted here instead. I don’t know what happened that night – she was really banging around – but from then on, she was actually quiet for weeks, so again it seemed like the bubble had been burst. I got the info from here, and thought, “next time”.
Of course, it did eventually start up again, with her banging around at night, and screaming/shouting, sounding very disturbed. One night, having been woken at 3.30, I called the police. I tried to get across how disturbed she sounded, and that I was worried for her safety. When they arrived, she was quiet. They knocked on the door, she didn’t answer, and they went away again.
I did call the Social Psychiatric Service that Kewell pointed me to a few days later, when she was screaming in the stairwell at lunchtime. They said I should have called them at the time she smashed my window (committed readers: see post #1), but, well, I didn’t know about them then. They said they could offer her their help, but if she refused, there was not much they could do. Unless, that is, things escalated.
And things have escalated a little. Having banged around like crazy on Monday night (it seems to be the door of her flat and the landing, rather than the floor down to me, that gets it these days), today I arrived home, about two-thirty, and a large box of washing powder was strewn on the steps directly below my landing, where my neighbours were waiting for me. They had wanted to speak to me before I saw that she had also dumped a huge bag of trash on my doorstep, together with some now smashed wooden drawers. Apparently she had thrown it all down to my front door from halfway up the stairs in a screaming rage about an hour before. It was lucky that I got home, like last time, just after the police arrived. The (nice) neighbours on my landing had called them.
Whilst they were still telling me this, with me stood there with shopping in my hands, they brought her down, very drunk. The two young cops told her to pick the rubbish up. She was barely capable and even less willing. Her rubbish bag broke, and the neighbours on my landing gave her a thicker one, which undoubtedly made her embarrassment worse. I had thought about going into the nice neighbours flat whilst she got on with it, but pride kicked in, and I thought I would stand my ground until I could walk in my door. The landing is barely six foot sqaure.
Given what happened last time, I expect she will be home tomorrow at the latest. I will call the Social Pychiatric Service again to update them. I’ve reported the kick to the police. Not that it was a hard kick, but nonetheless it shows her intent, and my landlords may take it more seriously than property damage. The conflict between just wanting her to be evicted, and wanting that she receive some kind of help is only sharpened by such things, though in actual fact there is no conflict really, as if she gets help, it will help me. And she won’t get help by staying where she is, in all probability.
In: NRW, Joined: 2009
Thanks for the update.
If the hospital does let her out tonight or tomorrow, you could call the Ordnungsamt instead. Where I live anyway, it’s them that have to authorise someone getting committed. The police can’t move without them, unless she presents a risk to herself or others. Perhaps you could ask the Social Psychiatric Service about that.
I hope it’s a brighter day tomorrow!
pgsm posted 22 February 2012, 5:55pm post 19
In: Berlin, Joined: 1 May 2005
The guy at the SP Service was pretty helpful and forthcoming last time, so I guess he can tell me about that, yes. He has a voicemail waiting for him in the morning – stupidly I was writing the above instead of calling them earlier; they closed at 4pm, like all good public services. But as he did explain, it’s likely that things have to get really bad before they can step in. I don’t know if today qualifies. We’ll see.
That is a perverse logic: it’s good that she kicked me, as it creates a better chance of action being taken. It’s not how it should be, but that’s how it is.
In: NRW, Joined: 2009
If she is in a psychiatric ward, I would guess they would keep her in if she genuinely is sick. And it looks like she’s on crack or actually psychotic – the term may be appropriate.
Manauea posted 22 February 2012, 6:15pm post 21
In: Oahu
wow.
Wheretheachefalls posted 22 February 2012, 6:59pm post 22
In: USA +4
Just keep it in mind that you need to look out after no.1, regardless of what else is going on. It’s noble and all that, that you show some compassion, but you have to be aware of the dangers.
It indeed seems clear that she would benefit from professional “assistance” but will in all likelihood resist for all she’s worth. So those in the vicinity need to be particularly tough and aware.
From personal experience, I can tell you that looking out for yourself, whilst also being compassionate, is the route to helping her as best you can.
Hang in there.
Hangingchad posted 22 February 2012, 7:22pm post 23
Joined: 2011 +1
Jesus Christ, how aggressive does she need to be before any real action is taken? In my book, smashing windows with crockery, threatening residents and kicking a neighbor whilst in the grip of the cops would be plenty enough to have her locked up in some sort of facility.
You have my sympathies :\
Tuco posted 22 February 2012, 7:27pm post 24
In: Friedrichshain, Berlin
Make sure to report it and if possible press charges, if only for simple assault and property damage. It probably won’t amount to anything but may carry weight in any potential court case, and will be good documentation.
In: Berlin, Joined: 1 May 2005
Trouble is, Hangingchad, at the time of the bottle-flinging, I didn’t know who to call, so the right agencies weren’t brought in. I’m a bit more up to speed now, so we’ll see if the system works any better this time.
And @falling ache: sure, the more that happens like this, the more it is about protecting myself first.
Tuco: you mean a Strafanzeige, right? If so, yes, it’s already done. If you mean something further, please tell me.
Hangingchad posted 22 February 2012, 7:35pm post 26
Joined: 2011 +1
Yeah, but surely there is a report of it somewhere in their files – they were called out last time by one of your neighbours, weren’t they?
Wheretheachefalls posted 22 February 2012, 7:36pm post 27
In: USA
The paper trail can’t be too long in this sort of situation.
In: Munich +8
Wheretheachefalls said:
“That means that others around her must be strong.”
Hang tough or get the hell out of there. This is not a blood relation.
Like Kewell said, the authorities will rarely move without the involvement of a third party if they can’t see for themselves that a person is a risk to themselves or others. Your options, then, are as follows: stick around, see if she improves. Don’t count on it. Or stick around and see her get worse – this is what I’d stick my money on – and eventually watch her fall into some desperate state or event that provokes intervention. Or there’s always clutching at straws, and wait for someone else to step in and somehow save the day. Or you step in further yourself, getting help. Or you leave.
As you have stated that you have your heart set on staying put in your place, you can either pretend it isn’t happening (no chance) or help. Do not enter into any sort of personal relations with her, though. Helping means enforcing societal standards – this is for her own good, much as she won’t perceive it that way. Call the cops each time she does anything, get them involved. Your current strategy of lying low and blocking it out, suffering in silence (bar venting anonymously here), is helping no-one – neither you nor the other neighbours nor her.
It may seem futile at first, and they will likely react the they did the only time you called them so far, but as it goes on, by the time they’ve come out at 3am for the 15th time to deal with “nocturnal disturbances”, they might start taking things more seriously, and she may yet get properly evaluated by a psychiatrist.
Best of Luck!
Best of Luck!
Tuco posted 22 February 2012, 7:39pm post 29
In: Friedrichshain, Berlin
Yes that’s it. The cogs should already be in motion, then.
pgsm posted 22 February 2012, 7:40pm post 30
In: Berlin, Joined: 1 May 2005
@Where the ache falls: Oh, sure, I still have the Anzeige number from the window thing. And photos too. And the good neighbour today had the wit to photograph it before it got cleaned up. And a few of the neighbours are presenting a united front to the verwaltung, to press for action.
@Ajaeng: there’s no way on earth I’m gonna try to talk to her again, and yes, I’m much more proactive about calling the authorities now. I’m learning. It’s what you call integration, Neukölln-style, I guess.
In: Munich +1
Nothing to do with integration. My advice would be the same to anyone in your situation whether in Canada or UK or France or Germany or some other western country.
BelindainBelgrade posted 22 February, 8:10pm post 32
In: Belgrade +8
Also, get everyone else in the house to write letters and make calls, too.
We had some nutters upstairs once. It sounded just like rows getting out of hand when it began. When it started to sound like someone was getting hurt and the police we’re called, they denied there was any problem. We were worried about the girl getting beat up by her guy at first, but then it seemed to carry on with other guys around as well. She always said there was nothing wrong to the police. We felt compelled to contact her family and let them know what was going on. But that was the limit of what we could do.
It started getting out of hand when they began putting others in the building in danger. It seems that one night they’d been taking something and managed to set the kitchen alight. They wouldn’t come to the door, and smoke was seeping out from under their letterbox.
One night all hell broke loose and their fight crashed out of their front door and onto the landings and stairwell. Glass was broken and from inside we couldn’t tell if someone was being thrown at our door or it was being beaten. We – myself and two children – had to barricade ourselves in and wait right at the back of the flat until the police got there. Frankly terrifying, I was waiting for the door to come crashing down.
Heaven knows how, but the landlord managed to have them evicted. Compassion is all well and good but, boy, there are limits.
I wish the OP all the best.
Galloway Gall posted 22 February 2012, 8:15pm post 33
In: Munich
Absolutely, Belinda. She could start a fire in the building and you wouldn’t know until the place burned down. Do make sure to call the police in future, won’t you, pgsm?
In: Schwabing, Munich +1
I can understand she needs help and commend your attitude, but my, you must really love that apartment and possess the patience of a brick, otherwise you would have bid that place farewell AGES ago.
Excuse the cynicism, but considering all that’s happened so far – how the Police and Social Services have handled the matter and the fact she’s demonstrated clearly that she’d like to harm you – I fear that something a lot worse (possibly fatal) could happen the next time there’s an altercation.
So if as per your expectation she does return home tomorrow or whenever, I suggest you get the f**k outta there. As others have stated, do not view a move as you losing the war (or dwell on all the stress attached to relocating) but rather as a necessary step towards preservation of self and sanity.
Whatever you decide, goodluck.
pgsm posted 23 February 2012, 1:02am post 35
In: Berlin, Joined: 1 May 2005
Yes, well, MonsterMünchen, I appreciate your point. Perhaps I’ve been too stubborn for my own good. Or lazy even: you could view it that way.
We’ll see what happens after this stage. It’s the first time I have neighbours on my side, and a few of us are putting across a united front, and I and we are being more active than in the past re forcing the issue with landlords and relevant authorities. If nothing comes, I’ll definitely think again about your advice. Cheers.
pgsm posted 23 February 2012, 9:12pm post 36
In: Berlin, Joined: 1 May 2005
It’s maybe a shame I didn’t catch the SP Service before they knocked off work yesterday. As I thought, she’s home today. The guy at the SP Dienst heard me recount the recent events and then asked, rhetorically, “but where is she now? Still in hospital, right?” When I said, “no, she’s home,” he sucked in his breath. He’s gonna liase with the doctors and see if she can be re-committed, but can’t promise anything. I don’t hold out too much expectation for that, to be honest, but who knows. More anon…
Nobulljohnny posted 23 February 2012, 9:17pm post 37
In: Frankfurt
Double bolt your doors and windows. Stay away from the window, lay low to the floor. This chick is crazy and probably really pissed right now. Good luck and let us know how it pans out.
Joined: February 2012 +2
Pgce: Crazies are everywhere. I lived on the second floor of an apt. complex in NY and had a new baby, who, as babies are wont to do, cried at night. The psycho B****h beneath us used to bang on the ceiling beneath the nursery with a broomstick in the middle of the nite when kid would cry. I think one night I got so torqued that I stood on the single bed I had in the nursery with the crib, and jumped on the floor as hard as I could. Probably knocked the chandelier off her ceiling, but I didn’t give a crap at that point. She was miraculously evicted shortly thereafter, and I found out that she had, um, a home business, um, entertaining men for money. And no, it isn’t legal in America, except in Nevada. So, my son must have cut into the ambiance and it probably hurt business
Then I had another neighbor in a house next to mine who was bi-polar and not on meds, (disclaimer: no offense to any bi-polars out there), and you just never knew who you were going to get from day to day. One day he went off on me for some 15 minutes over a perceived infraction and told me to get the f*** off his property and never come back (we had a shared driveway) and the son of a gun never stopped until I moved.
Moral of story: Dude, you have to move. It ain’t gonna get better…
In: Belgrade +3
I had a really terrible, rude and threatening neighbour until… today! Evicted. Just had to share how thrilled I am. Putting pressure on the authorities brings dividends eventually.
william tyndale posted 26 February 2012, 10:33am post 40
Joined: February 2012
Belinda, the cops can help, unless you live in a small town where your psycho neighbor is related to half the police force and the mayor. Then you are screw-ed, if you know what I mean. I just cut my losses and left. Now I am on the other side of the country and he will never bother me AGAIN! Praise the Lord!
Kewell posted 26 February 2012, 2:13pm post 41
In: NRW, Joined: 2009 +6
Wasn’t it Him who created the psychos in the first place?
Joined: February 2012 -21
“Wasn’t he the one who created the psychos in the first place?”
Die Bibel indicates that (what we consider) psychos were demon possessed, and there are many accounts of Christ delivering many People from them. Not going to go theological here, but I do think we can distinguish from some types of mentally ill and the truly demon possessed. I had a catholic book once that had the entire rite of exorcism in Latin, but I am not up for trying that! Leave it to the pros:)
Intermission:
Vermona Regent
by DMCD (live, 2012)
Next:
Deluge 3, September 2014